Thursday, August 23, 2012

Becoming Sister Wives Review, Part II

Apparently, when a man courts a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th wife, the engagements are short. Some bit about it "not being appropriate" to spend a lot of time with a married man. *Ya, think?* This portion of the book is called "Sorority." Are some of you getting nostalgic about your college days? It makes me all warm and fuzzy. Just think, 3 women and 1 man, crammed into a tiny house with no money and tempers flaring. When can I begin to pledge?

Part II Sorority:
Meri & Kody + Janelle: After 3 yrs of a blissful marriage, Meri and Kody, take on a 2nd wife. The sad thing is, they both describe this as more of an obligation, than a want. Poor Janelle is neither warmly welcomed, nor shown affection from either of them. She's essentially thrown into living with the 2 honeymooners who continue to display affection, and act as though she's an unwelcome houseguest. Meri is rude and controlling, and tells Janelle how it's gonna be. Janelle doesn't speak up for herself, and hides in her room.
  • Meri discusses her relationship with Kody as "romantic and passionate," and says her jealousies were kept at a minimum, because Kody and Janelle's relationship was purely platonic.
  • While Janelle worked, and kept to herself, Meri would go on business trips with Kody. Janelle saw this as irresponsible since they were broke, and Meri needed to work.
  • Janelle tells of a time when she was 6 mths pregnant, and Kody and Meri were about to leave for a trip. (again) Janelle had tried out new make up, and Meri was cruel to her. Janelle asks Kody if he loves her. He says he does, and then leaves. 
Meri & Kody + Janelle + Christine: What's that? Did you blink and another wife was added? Yup. That's basically how this book is. Meri's evil. Janelle's sad. Janelle's pregnant, and in pops a 3rd wife. Luckily, I'm giving you just the goods, and you skip the poorly written *and organized* thoughts
  • Christine, the peacemaker, comes into the picture. Janelle feels the pressure off of her, and Meri now has someone else to criticize.
  • Meri is now extremely jealous. She recognizes the chemistry between Kody and Christine and is getting less attention. Awww. Poor Meri.
  • Janelle's career is thriving. With 2 sisterwives at home, she's able to work late, long hours, and know her kids are being well cared for. 
  • Fast forward 8 yrs, yup, I said that. Janelle's on her 5th kid, and all three parties are living in a teeny house. Gee, I can't imagine why everyone's so stressed out, can you?
  • Janelle has had ENOUGH. She says after a "particularly nasty fight with Meri" she packs up the kids and leaves! She buys her own house, pays her own bills, and is finally happy. During this time, she and Kody's relationship grows. Meri and Christine still watch her kids, and Kody still visits, but finally, Janelle has her own life with Kody. She lived on her own for 3 yrs, before joining the family in the "Big House" in Lehi, Utah.
  •  Christine's portion is all flowers and rainbows. Christine loves homeschooling and crafts. She loves being a stay at home mom, while Meri and Janelle work. However, in a two paragraph, very vague description, she writes she and Meri had a horrible that to this day they are still working on. She doesn't say what happened or what it was over. 
  •  Robyn's added in here. All through out the book, everyone mentions financial struggles. Robyn was broke too. TLC paid for Robyn and Kody's wedding and honeymoon. Keep in mind, Janelle and Christine both had very simple, very played down private ceremonies. Their descriptions of their honeymoons reminded me the somber feeling you get attending a funeral, not a wedding, and very understandably so. The family had 3 wives, and 16 kids to support. They're living paycheck to paycheck, when, swoop, let's court a new wife, with three kids. 
  • Around this time, Meri gets fired from her job. 
Here's where I'm horribly bored by this post, and have decided to give you all a brief synopsis of the incredibly boring, anti-climatic rest of the book. Robyn joins the family, and even though Meri initiated the courting, she's incredibly hurt. Reliable Janelle is apathetic. Christine is devastated. The "Family" portion just gives a run down of how things work. Christine watches the kids and home schools, Meri works, Janelle and Kody do the finances, Christine and Janelle do grocery shopping etc.. It's basically everything we've seen from tv, and now they've written it down.

Meri comes off as incredibly self righteous, and the kind of person that believes her way is the right way. She bashes the way her sister wives parent, and allow their kids to ruin their furniture. She points out how she will correct the kids and make them be respectful. Blah. Blah. Blah. Meri has one child. Not trying to step on toes here, but it's very easy to step in and occasionally discipline vs. day to day living. We learn that Robyn is a softer parent, and Meri thinks she babies her kids. Each wife states that Kody has enough going on, and basically, they don't rely on him for anything, because he's so busy. 

None of these women are truly happy. I feel that what they've done has been irresponsible in so many ways, I can't even list them all. Robyn feels hated by the other wives. Even though she and Meri seem super chummy on camera, there's is deep jealousy rooted from Kody's chemistry with Robyn. Christine is making the best of what she firmly believes is God's command. She keep apologizing for normal feelings. Each wife ends the book on a rosy note. Not one time did any of the wives truly reveal a vunberable side or reveal any deep feelings. Just when you thought they were finally breaking down, they'd flip it, and talk about their firm commitments to the "principle." I saved Kody for last, because he is scum of the earth. This balding man disregards his wives feelings for the sake of his own whims and wants. Kody is not a man. He doesn't take care of his family. Apparently, the wives were all on some kind of gov't aid before filming the TLC show. Marriage is not about sharing your spouse, or accepting that your husband will be intimate with other women. Marriage isn't about swallowing your jealousy as your pregnant, and watching your husband court another woman 10 years your junior. Marriage isn't being pecked and criticized by the only legal wife so that she can constantly remind you who came first. In my conclusion, plural marriage is not true marriage, and my heart breaks for these women. 

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