Monday, July 30, 2012

Facebook friends lists explained

It never ceases to amaze me the number of "friends" I've somehow aquired on FB. However, each time I try to weed through people, I find myself reaching the same dillemas I did when accepting the friend request. I've decided I'm going to email facebook and suggest the following options for organizing friend lists:

The Obligatory: I-know/knew-you-from-school/church/work-and-it-would-be-awkward-not-to-accept-your-request List

The Never Posts: Never-posts-to-prove-how-important-their-life-is-except-to-share-exciting-news-only-to-disappear-again List

The Negative Nelly: Makes-you-want-to-slit-your-wrists-after-reading-their-status-updates List

The Bipolar: I-only-keep-you-on-here-to-get-my-daily-dose-of-crazy List

The Never Really Liked You: I-just-like-to-stalk-your-page-to-make-myself-feel-better List

The Once Upon A Time: We-used-to-be-friends-but-never-talk-anymore-yet-are-still-fb-friends List

The Family: Will-always-lend-their-opinion-even-though-we-just-discussed-this-for-an-hr-on-the-phone-but-maybe-if-I-post-it-on-your-page-you'll-listen List

The Few: People-who-actually-read/comment/like-things-on-my-profile List

I'll be awaiting their reply......

Texts from Mom

My mom is the pillar of our family. She's also extremely ADD, treats her large goldendoodle like a toddler, and sometimes suffers from dementia. (I'm only joking about that last part..sort of) Despite me telling mom how I never listen to voicemails, she still calls and leaves me 3 minute long voicemails describing her day, the dog, and what she ate. Mom is a pretty fun granny. She holds kickball tournaments at her house with the annual cousin sleepover, "Cousin Camp", and her ever infamous change to the "Clean Up Song" (which she teaches to all of the grandchildren) ....."Always wear clean underwear!" I asked mom for a pic of Molly (the beloved Goldendoodle), but mom refused saying,"No! You're just going to try to make her look bad." So, I copied and pasted from her FB. 

First, the beloved Molls
Mom and the boys about to catch some waves 
The winners of the kickball tournament
The losers
Things Mom has said
On her ebay business:
 "I'm trying to do this ebay thing to help support a missionary and I think I'm almost paying people to take my stuff! It feels a little stressful!"

On something my sister had told her:
 Heidi said she read a survey that claims 90% of women enjoy cleaning; one more confirmation I'm not normal.

Her and Pops:
 Saturday evening we thought we were young and carefree and went to eat spicy, fried fast food for dinner; by the middle of the night we were back to reality.

On my nephew:
 Weston is providing background music on the piano, a variation of chopsticks. I think it's good he'll be taking violin in the fall... I asked how he chose the violin and he said his dad showed him a video where the guy played the violin so fast that fire was shooting out of it! Somehow I'm not thinking that instrument will live up to his expectations!

On FB pictures:
 After all the hideous pictures my daughters have pictured of me, I'm awaiting a call from one of those makeover shows. I'm sure I'll be chosen.

This gem was sent this morning. Despite the fact that I moved down South 6 yrs ago, Mom always acts surprised at the 1 hr time difference when she calls in the am and wakes me (her, being an hour AHEAD of me). She tells me "sleep is for when you're dead."
This was my 7 am wake up text:

Must you mate on our screen?

 Nothing wakes me up like a text of two daddy long legs mating on mom's screen.

The World According to Kieran and Liam

Kieran, on how he's going to make his money:
I'm going to build flying cars and live in a huge mansion. And I'll eat all of my meals at a huge table. I'll have servants to do everything for me, and I won't pay them anything.

On being told he has to pay, and how we no longer call housekeepers "servants":
Fine, I'll pay them like $10 a day..What? More? Fine, a gold bar a day

Me telling him that for a gold bar a day, I'd work for him:
hmmm, yeah, Mom. I'm sorry, but you'd be too old to work. 

I'll admit it. The thumb situation has gotten out of control. To wean our 2nd oldest from his pacifier, we cut a little from the tip each night for about a week. Once it got down to a nub, he threw it on the floor. While it did occur to me that we might have to begin to amputate parts of his thumb, I find that Kindergarten has a way of weeding out baby habits.

Cameron was highly addicted to a brown bear that used to lie in his crib. The tail had one of those coil pull strings and would play music, well, it did until the ex MIL washed it. Anywho, Cam asked to take it to school his 1st day. He came home telling me all of his classmates laughed at his bear, and he threw it under his bed. 

Similarly, Kieran was teased for being a "baby" for sucking his thumb during naptime his first week of kindergarten. The habit quickly stopped. So, I'm not too worried about Liam. The kindergarten bullies with sort him out.

Anywho, I occasionally ask Liam when he's going to stop sucking his thumb. Here are some of his responses...
Um, never. Sucking my thumb is the best.
THIS one (left thumb) is the best, because it has water. The other one is broken.
Mmm, maybe when I like 30 or something?

On his classmates calling him a baby for sucking his thumb:
No they won't. Cuz, I not a baby, and sucking my thumb is great. 
Then, I just punch them in the face.

The title of the blog

TLC reality shows bore me. Anyone's family could look interesting with $ and paid outings. Here are my real life stories..and warning for friends, family and rude store clerks, any interaction with me is fair game.

My youngest was around 11 mths, when I heard, "Mom! The baby's in the toilet." I came in to find Liam standing in the toilet holding on. The older boys swore up and down he had climbed in there on his own. Of course I had to run and grab my camera. #4 was the most laid back sweet baby

 Again, I don't remember the last time I saw a duggar kid in toilet...